An Emotional Weekend

This past weekend was a busy and challenging one. My grandmother (Mom's Mom) of 90 years old passed away last Monday and we headed to Toledo on Thursday afternoon. Times like this offer up an overwhelming range of emotions as you relive the joys and memories of the relationship and grieve at their passing.

Even though Grandma was 90, her death was quite unexpected. As I wrote a little about her in our Christmas trip recap back in January, grandma was healthy, active and independent. She kept her own home, still drove and still worked as the head ticket taker at the theater where the symphony played and the Broadway shows came. She last worked on May 19th. The following week she went on an outing with the OSU Home Extension Club. On May 27th, she fell while gardening in her back yard while gardening, breaking her hip. The initial prognosis was good, her heart and bones were quite strong, but a week after the fall, she developed an infection. She returned on June 5th to the hospital from the nursing home where she had been getting therapy, and she passed away early Monday morning. The infection had spread rapidly and Grandma had just simply grown weary of fighting through the pain.

Grandma's life was characterized by self sacrifice. She was always working at helping someone. She made countless meals for my family and took care of us numerous times when Mom and Dad went out or away. She was ever present at family gatherings, usually at the sink doing dishes or tending to food on the stove. When Grandma came over, she usually brought something. It might be a plant from her yard to take home and put in ours. Frequently it was some sort of baked goods. These would arrive in a recycled plastic snap close container that originally contained day old bagels, glazed donuts or something, and carried in a used grocery bag. Grandma didn't throw anything away, it always had another use in it, so those plastic bagel boxes got used as cookie transports.

Grandma also seemed (wrongly) convinced that she was rather insignificant in anyone's life, unnoticed and rather unimportant. She asked some time before her death that the viewing hours for her passing be kept to only 30 minutes. We think that she figured any longer and the lack of people would be embarrassing. There were 7 hours of time and the string of people only let up slightly around dinner. In all, well over 200 people (closer to 300, I think) came to pay their respects to a woman who had quietly impacted so many. If only she had understood.

What surprised even the family was the amazing response from her coworkers at the Stranahan Theater. Over 30 of them came by and told stories of how she had impacted them personally. Some wept as if they had lost a member of their own family. She had stood at that center door, taking tickets, for some 35 years - since the theater opened in 1969. One by one they told of how she had welcomed them, advised them and loved them. We knew that Grandma was appreciated more than she knew there, but even we had no idea the impact she had made. We received a letter from the theater that they would be dedicating a seat in the theater to her with a plaque detailing her years of service. It only seemed right for her name to be permanently affixed to the theater she loved so much.

Saturday was spent going through some of Grandma's things at her house, cleaning up and making plans for distributing and disposing of her belongings. We laughed at the things she saved and remembered the woman she was. We marveled at some of the items we found. Her dresser was made sometime in the mid 1800's, we think by a family member. It's a remarkable piece of furniture in remarkable condition. We found numerous family pictures, including a scrapbook album made by my Great Grandmother (we think) for her brother in 1905. My wife and sister, both avid scrap bookers, marveled at that find. Early pictures of my wife and I reminded me that we are no longer young and of how much hair I've lost. Of course, she manages to look better as she ages while I just look, well, older.

The weekend ended on a bittersweet note as we had a surprise party for my Aunt and Uncle's 25th wedding anniversary. Grandma was my Aunt's Mom, so while the celebration was good, it was also sad knowing that Grandma had missed it. Their kids had planned the event, digging out my Aunt's wedding dress she had crocheted herself and the white three piece suit my uncle had worn. They re-created their wedding cake and topped it with the same cake topper found at Grandma's house just the day before (With 25 year old frosting flowers still on it! We washed it good first.) No recollection of their wedding would be complete without tales of the tornado that went through the area during the ceremony (the organist, with her weather radio, was yelling in a whisper "get down!" and diving under the organ.) We also laughed at their High School pictures and pictures of their early years. What hippies!

Four and a half days packed with emotion, but in all a good weekend. A celebration of a life of giving and two lives still tied together after 25 years.