Patrick Mead is the proprietor of Tent Pegs. While I was up to my eyeballs in changing hosts, he was writing two excellent posts about his parenting philosophy. He has successfully navigated his two kids (a 17 year old man and 23 year old woman) into adulthood and offers some of his concepts for raising "faithful, happy children".
First, go read The Safety Valve. Here's a quote to entice you to read:
[H]ere is the payoff: because they were allowed to release steam in small amounts, they never felt the need to blow up. Did we disagree with some of their decisions? Yes (but, to be honest, that didn't happen a lot). But if Kami and I were to die today we know that Duncan has all the skills he needs -- even at 17 -- to make his way forward from here without us. Kara is already a godly woman, and a very wise one, who would miss us terribly... but she has all the skills she needs to move on without us.That's something that I want to be able to say, that I've prepared them to live without me. Not by leaving instructions for every eventuality, but by teaching them to think and find their own way.
After you've wrapped your mind around his first post, read the follow-up, God is Smart... or... the "duh" factor... where Patrick lays out some practicals to back up his theories.
We instilled very early in our children the concept of consequences. Within age appropriate limits, they were able to make decisions but they also had to bear the consequences. Consequences have largely been removed from our children's actions and that is a shame. Once upon a time if the child responsible for maintaining the fire failed at his duty, the house was cold, food was uncooked, and he had to deal with the disapproval of his family until the situation was rectified. Bring consequences and God back into the mix.There are some very thought provoking things in there (like no bedtimes after 6 years old, and no curfews!), but I think he's onto something. Maria and I haven't really talked this through and decided how it might fit into our family. On some levels it's not far from what we are already doing, on others it seems like another universe. I will say that it has changed how I aproach our kids and how reactionary I am to their mis-behaviors.When God is entered into the equation, children learn that there is a metaphysical as well as a physical component to every decision made.
Cool. What neat ideas. My wife and I are going to see how we can implement these. Some will be hard like shutting off electronic devices at a certain time!
I didn't think he was saying that was for everyone, although he did say to practice what you preach. Interesting observation.
He's written another one, did you read that? It's a good one on discipline:
BTW - How's the planting?Finishing up corn today hopefully. I am waiting on the fertilizer guys to come but it's after six. They said they'd be here???
I didn't read his other article yet. I like his examples with shutting off electronic devices and watching shows and talking about them.