Parenting Workshop Notes

These are my notes from the parenting workshop last weekend, mostly unedited. Listen to the message here.

Walter & Kim Evans

Walter
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Books/DVD:

  • The Wonder Years

  • The Age of Opportunity

  • Parenting With Kingdom Purpose

  • Effective Parenting in a Defective World

We are at world with the world for our children. Things have changed since we were kids and we don't even know how much.

Rev. 12:7-9, 16-17

Don't fight with our kids, fight for them.

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The Disengaged Parent
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1 Sam 2:12, 22-25
Eli seems like the worn and weary parent.
(v. 25)

Walter
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"We want our kids to be at their worst while at home."

Make the home the hub for the kids activity.

Kim
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If we aren't wrestling with Satan, he's winning.

"Mom (Gemple) would pray to catch us sinning."

Don't make them into what we want them to be, help them to be what God has called them to be.

If they love God just like me, will that be OK? Or are we hoping they'd be like we used to be?

Walter
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1 Sam 2:29
This is how Eli got where he was. Honoring kids before God.

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Ambitious but Absent Parent
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2 Sam 13:23-25

Walter
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I wonder if Absalom longed to talk to Dad about what he was planning?

(Minivan radio trick)

Kim
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More trouble between 3-6.

Keep a pulse on what's going on. It's harder as time goes on.

We have got to be there, engaged.

Be the ones that your kid's friends can talk to.

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Trying but tested
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Luke 2:41-45

Walter
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The didn't know where he was for a whole day!

We're in the game, but we're missing some of the signs.

This where we help each other out. "By the way, brother, I noticed this."

It does take a village (not to quote a pres candidate :-D ).

(how towns in the west started)

Kim
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I'm convinced that parents are some of the most insecure Christians. More so as they get older.

Your doing your best and someone points something out and it's hard not to react.

Pray that God would show you what you need.

Check up on your kids "It's not you I don't trust, it's Satan.

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6 battle grounds
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  1. Worldliness
    • academic performance

    • athletic success

    • possessions, appearance & style

    • teach them how to give and serve. Hang out with those who don't have as much.

    • what are you tempted with & what your kids are

  2. Unspiritual
    • apologize when we need to.

    • were sinful and they will be too for their whole life

    • they see how you play the game

  3. marriage problems
    • fighting, hateful or the cold war

    • kids are smarter than you think

    • don't bury things for the sake of peace

    • test - do you want them to have a marriage like yours

  4. weak family life
      meals together
    • devotionals

    • time together, consistency

    • pray with them every night, it sticks with them

  5. shaping behavior instead of molding hearts
    • task master, doing it right

    • if it's all about doing it right for mom or dad we've missed something

  6. dealing with unresolved issues
    • eph 4:26, 29

    • kids that have heard nothing but neg stuff about church their whole life. Do it in private. I does so much damage. Build others up. They end up so critical. Repeat it and exaggerate it, that's how they hear it.

4 Comments

Hey, Doug, you've got a typo in the title of this post. Gary

Heh. And to think, I actually spell checked it. :-P

Thanks.

Sounds like a pretty good workshop.

For us, we felt like that one of us had to stay home to make it work. I believe that a child's personality is largely set by age three. As such, I intend to spend as much time with my children from 0-3 in order to be as much of an influence as possible. This makes it much easier to make the home the hub of my children's activity -- they know that I am there.

I appreciate the Worldliness battleground notes. I get tempted to feel embarrassed because our family lives a lower-income lifestyle that many we know.

I want to hear the lesson in regards to the Luke 2:41-45 passage. At first blush it sounds like a point in search of a Scripture.

It also bugs me that a parent would 'pray to catch their children in sin'. Why would I want them to be different at home from when they are out and about?

But it's just me. I'll listen to the lesson. Thanks for the notes, it's good food for thought.

Yeah, that Luke verse was a little of a stretch, but not as much as my notes make it seem. The point was a good one - we need each other if we're going to raise our kids well.

The 'catch them in sin' comment was more about being there when the mess up - because you know they will - so you can help, teach and correct. It was about taking care of them rather than catching them, if that makes sense.

I appreciated that thought as well as the prayer that they'd be at their worst at home because of the idea of wanting to be able to help them through the worst spots. Too often I fall in the trap of wanting them to just be good, period, rather than acknowledging that they will sin and desiring to be there to help when they do.

Let me know what you think after listening. I know I went in not real excited about the big church evangelist and wife (daughter of Kingdom bigwigs) coming in for a lesson. I was wrong, it was great.



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