Changes

The eagle eyed among you may have noticed a slight change in the little paragraph about me in the upper left. The word 'Deacon' is now conspicuously absent.

Earlier this month, my wife and I stepped down from the leadership of our family group and I stepped down from my role as Deacon in the church. The primary reason was that we felt that we needed to make our family our primary, and nearly exclusive, ministry right now. Maria noticed it first, it was her maternal instincts that became more and more alarmed at how isolated the 5 of us were becoming. Maria and I had our activities, the girls theirs, and we were operating too much as individuals rather than a family unit. We talked about it and agreed, we had no business leading a 'family group' if we didn't feel good about where our family was. Moreover, at 8, 10 and 12, our girls need our complete attention to get through the challenging years ahead. We need not be distracted by obligations to the church, no matter how honorable or even needed. Of course, if I feel can't serve as a family group leader, a man made position, how could I stay on as Deacon?

A few weeks ago, I had lunch with Codepoke and he said something that stuck with me. It was his conviction that no man should serve as an elder until his kids were grown and on a good path. The demands of eldership and father hood were each too great. Either the church, or worse, his family or both would suffer as a result. While I was not an elder, I still had responsibilities to my church that drew me away form my family. While certainly not the root of the things brewing in our family, this division of responsibility wasn't helping. I still had things I wanted to accomplish in both roles, but as we talked things through, Codepoke's words echoed in my head and really made it clear what needed to be done. Thanks, Kevin.

So, now the real work begins. We've made some good decisions and changes already.

• We've decided that Sundays, as much as possible, will be family time. Playing games, seeing a movie and just being together.


• We'll have more time in the Bible as a family. We've never been good at family devos, so we're turning dinner time into a devo. Maria a couple of years ago had a 'verse of the day' that she used at breakfast before school. With Jessica going to the bus at 6:45 AM now, that doesn't work as well so they haven't been doing it this year. We've still got the printouts, so we're dusting off all those printed verses and using them at dinner time. We go through each verse word by word, dissecting it and learning what it means.


• As many nights as possible, we'll gather on Mom and Dad's bed for family prayer time. Everyone gets a turn. That way they get to see how we pray, at least a little. We try to incorporate a theme, or maybe pray to incorporate the verse of the day in our own lives.

It's a start, but it feels good to make changes, to re-adjust your thinking to God. Metanoia, repentance. There is much more to do. I don't see myself taking on a leadership position for some time. My girls, and wife, need me now.