Training Wheels, Part 2

I've been thinking, off and on, about Audrey and her training wheels. How she simply decided that she was done with them and that she could now ride with out them.

And then she did.

No longer slowed down by those little wheels or constrained to take corners straight up, off she went, grinning with freedom. I stood there, honestly, in awe.

It occurs to me that I've been riding on spiritual training wheels. Not wanting to go too fast until I've got it all figured out. Like Audrey the day before, I cry "Not yet! I'm not ready! I can't do it!Wait!"

What's holding me back is uncertainty. I want to know exactly what the right way to proceed and think is before moving forward. I'm not yet certain about many things, so I take it slow and cautious, not wanting to fall. As soon as I have the answers I need, I can take those little wheels off, knowing I'll sail off without falling. Without the answers, if I remove the training wheels I might mess up, fall and get hurt.

The problem with certainty is that I've tried it. I took off, certain of what to do and fell flat on my face. So, I feel that I need certainty, but I understand that it's really a lie, only God has certainty.

The truth is that I can't sort it all out. Intellectually, I know that. I know that I'm not supposed to have all the answers. I understand that within the uncertainty is God building faith. I know that while I look for certainty, answers and perfection, life passes by and the work of the gospel sits waiting. I know that acting in spite of the uncertainty is one of the purest expressions of faith. I now know that it's the way God intended it. He has the answers, we don't, but we do have Him, and that's enough.

I know.

But I can't take the training wheels off. I want to be free of this burden of seeking perfection. I want to fly on the wings of faith. But I can't. Not yet anyway.

Hopefully, one day soon, like Audrey, I'll wake up one morning knowing that it's time. I'll be able to turn to my Father and say, "Dad, while I'm sleeping, could you secretly take my training wheels off, because I know I can do it now!"

And I'll leave the little wheels behind, not looking back.

3 Comments

Nice honest post. A lot of analogies there and like all analogies it depends on perspective.

At least you're on a big boy bike with training wheels. I feel like I'm on a Big Wheel. Hey at least we're moving right? ;-)



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